Communication for Couples: Part Three Listening Skills

"Communication works for those who work at it." - John Powell says and shows that there are many ways to communicate better in a relationship; you need to be willing to learn.

One of the most important parts of any good conversation is listening to your partner instead of talking.

How to Listen in Your Relationship

Listening is more than simply waiting your turn to speak; it is a delicate skill of patience and presence while your partner talks. Taking in every word and even allowing for a few moments of silence is critical.

• Show genuine interest - When your partner speaks, you must look them in the eye and demonstrate genuine attention. This requires you to put down your phone and focus on the conversation. 

• Show understanding - It is critical to hear and comprehend what your partner is attempting to communicate. If you still determine what your husband or wife attempted to convey, you should always follow up with more questions.

How to Help Your Partner Listen in Your Relationship

Feeling seen and heard is one of the key ingredients for better communication in a relationship, so listening and being heard are important.

If your partner needs positive reinforcement to listen, you could:

• Explain the situation by using kind and simple words when the argument gets heated. If you remain calm and persistent, your partner will more likely focus on your words.

• Show appreciation with words like "It means a lot to me when you listen." Motivating your spouse can build affection and help with resolution;

• Suggest groups and classes that will help you learn communication skills together.

References

The Gottman Institute. (2023). The Gottman Relationship Checkup. https://www.gottman.com/professionals/gottman-relationship-checkup/

Gottman Connect. (2022). How to Communicate Better in a Relationship. https://info.gottmanconnect.com/blog/how-to-communicate-better-in-a-relationship