Something is off: A therapist's personal account of navigating and learning the first signs of a health condition.
Disclaimer: Information in this post is meant to serve as a personal account story and not to be taken as medical or mental health advice. Each person's journey is unique and the information in the post should not be taken as advice. Please consult with your medical and healthcare professionals.
Author: Barbara Nunley, AMFT#121563
New beginnings require a path filled with letting go. This process is not always by choice. This is the beginning of my road to discovery from what began like a whisper from my body, that quickly felt like a scream!
When looking back, I noticed that I was experiencing symptoms early on. In November 2021, I started noticing that I felt lightheaded. What at first felt like possibly being dehydrated, tired or hungry began not matching the feeling of almost falling. It quickly progressed to feeling like I could fall in the shower, pass out while walking around or my worst nightmare fainting while my children were in my care! This progressed from November to February. Now, just like many moms my priority was not myself and I was focused on navigating the healthcare system for my daughter as she was experiencing a health issue at that time. On top of everything else I was busy playing all the roles I play: mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, therapist to name a few. Time was flying by, and I had very little time to focus on myself. I thought I was doing okay. I have always eaten on the healthier side but not strictly. I had found yoga at the beginning of 2020, when the pandemic first began. Yoga kept me feeling sane, strong and balanced. Although, I am far from perfectly practicing or showing up, it is my go-to like a comfy warm embrace. So that is what I was doing. Continuing my yoga practice as I did all the THINGS.
March 2022, in addition to feeling lightheaded and dizzy. I started experiencing more distressing symptoms. Memory loss, I have never had a good memory and I have a lot of organizational skills that usually keep me on track. This time nothing was helping! My husband would ask me a question and 5 seconds later I was asking him what he had just said. I forgot a meeting for work and events at school for my children. I began to feel frightened as my memory continued to decline. Heart palpitations was another symptom. All I could think of was something wrong with my heart? Having a history of heart disease in my family, made these symptoms a very real possibility! The extreme fatigue I was experiencing made me feel out of control. Especially, because before this I had lots of energy to do all the fun things. I love taking my kiddos on walks around the lake, riding rides at amusement parks, the beach, all the fun museums. I was an active mama that loves spending outdoors with my babies. Not anymore or at least for now. Other symptoms I had: cold, joint pain, chest tightness, dry skin, unable to concentrate, brain fog, extreme fatigue, anxiety, depression, shortness of breath. I say “had” but the truth is some of these symptoms are still here, they are however “better”.
What felt like my body screaming at me, is when I admitted to my husband that I needed to see a doctor. I really despise navigating our healthcare system. Anyone who has had to do this for their loved ones or for themselves knows firsthand it is a long frustrating road. Advocating is a must to get anything done! I immediately began reaching out to my primary physician. After my visit, I was told my tests were normal and provided with an as needed anxiety medication. I was told that my thyroid levels were elevated. A week passed and I still did not feel well. I began doing my own research and realized I needed to see an endocrinologist, a medical provider who diagnoses hormone related conditions. I called to make an appointment and was told I needed to see a general physician again. I complied, hoping that my thyroid would get further testing. Again, I was told that I did not have hypothyroidism, but I was on the “border” and could consider taking medication. I have no issues with medications! However, I needed more information before deciding to take a possible lifetime medication. I was finally referred to an endocrinologist that did more extensive tests. My body was showing a high count of antibodies. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis. I found relief, answers, and validation. Then came the confusion. What does this even mean? My understanding coming from a nonmedical professional, it is an autoimmune disease where my body is attacking my healthy thyroid. Your thyroid produces two main hormones that control and regulate your body. I began taking medication and within a week, I began to feel 85% back to myself.
This discovery is a reminder to advocate for myself, take care of myself first, listen to the whispers my body says before they become screams. My hope is that as I share my healing journey, you can feel less alone in your journey. Let us heal together.
Things I learned on my healing journey:
Trust yourself when your body does not feel well (eg. write down symptoms and how often you notice them).
Ask for support (eg. Partner, family, friend, trusted individual)
Advocate for yourself when navigating the medical system (eg. set aside a realistic amount of time daily to a few times a week).
Do your own research (eg. Books, trained professionals, people who have/are experiencing the same conditions, holistic avenues).
Find ways to reduce stress (eg. yoga, breathing meditation, sleep, eating healthy meals, drinking water).
Things I work/worked through (Potential barriers):
Not making yourself the priority
Distractions
Insurance policies
Medical providers
Symptoms
Out of pocket costs
Time
Negative thoughts/doubting your symptoms
